Burnfans! Here’s the first of the transplanted what would fucktard do blogs. There shall be more…oh yes…there shall be more…maybe.
I never really noticed blogs when I was home. Perhaps it was because I had a job where I was constantly occupied, and my sincere devotion to my drinking habit didn’t allow for a lot of after hours ‘surfing’. I didn’t read blogs, I didn’t write blogs, I didn’t know blogs. Fuck blogs. Then, when i came to Korea, I suddenly noticed people who blogged. They wrote the same sort of shit (and here are actual cut and pastes from some of these blogs).
" The greatest thing about Korea is the unlimited amount of coffee shops. I’m a coffee nomad and I try to stay away from the chains."
"…went bowling with Korean and western friends. It was my Korean friend’s first experience in a social setting amongst westerners. Especially, going bowling!"
"I was amazed they were speaking to each other in English rather than in their native language. I was delighted, I was able to partake in their first intercultural experience."
Actually, they are from one blog. I don’t have time to look through one hundred blogs to give you the hot shit on what’s fucktarded about so many of these pieces of shit. The quotes above are by a blogger who describes themselves with the following line, “You can say, I sit at the border of many talents and interests.” I like that. It’s unfortunately honest. Someone who is sitting on the border of being talented or interested is, at the end of the day, just sitting around. Let’s take a look at the three quotes above.
The first one is a mixture of self promotion and masturbation. I mean, what the fuck is a ‘coffee nomad’? What a load of old wank that is! Coffee nomad my arse! Oh, and if the ‘best thing about Korea’ is the coffee shops; you’re a fucktard. It’s like saying, ‘the best thing about travel, is pretending I am at home.’ What a fucktarded thing to say.
The second and third comments just smack of a cunning blend of accidental racism and sly imperialism. Why say that you went bowling with ‘Korean and western friends’? Why not just say, ‘with friends’? Seems like someone either feels the need to show off their Korean friends like special little ribbons, or they just can’t deal with the idea of people being more than their race. I’m not giving it a third less cunty reason. That’s not what this is about! ‘Native tongue.’ ‘Native’. Yeah. They’ve never been bowling, they’ve never been in a social setting with westerners (‘especially bowling!!!), and they have a ‘native’ tongue. What a bunch of savages these Koreans are.
Over the next month or so…hopefully before I go to Australia…you will notice some slight changes…or…you might not. I’m going to move all of my photos (not reblogs) from here…over to Burndog’s Slightly Wanky Photos. I’m also going to move all of the non photo posts that I liked over there…over here. The ones that I don’t like…or are too topical to have any relevance…will be deleted. Don’t cry. Please?
Thanks. It’s easier if we’re just grown-up about this.
Now….take a look at this video preview for the Bluray of this Japanese classic from 2000…Battle Royale. I won’t say anything more about it yet…but…take a look.
How are you doing? You alright? That’s nice. I’m still crook…I reckon I’ll be perfect by Sunday though…which is just in time for the football! Hooray!
In other news…I can see already that my self imposed news blackout will reap many rewards in terms of productivity. The game has downloaded and is ready to be watched…but I won’t be able to watch it until I get home…which means…no Facebook, Australian news or Twitter until around 6:30 tonight. Terrible news in some ways…but I reckon I’ll have made four bomb games, written twenty shitty entries here, and solved the whole North South conflict by 4:30. Very productive times.
What isn’t productive, is exactly what I can talk about here. I mean…let’s cut straight to the chase…Burndog isn’t well…so there’s not much excitement to report. I could describe the moderately frustrating KaKao talk exchange I had with someone yesterday…where they said that I should travel to the country by 9 am on a given day…and then I said that it would take me so long to get there that it might be better if I was scheduled for 10 am…and then we talked at length about that…and they finished with…”but I have scheduled you for 9 am.” But I won’t. I could talk about the English language tv channel that I am supposed to be making an appearance at on Monday (an interview about the Pod, and Korea and Korean culture) who have taken four days to translate an email into English…and still haven’t told me where to go, at what time, or pretty much anything at all. Which is a bit of a worry…but not entirely stressful. But…that’s not gold.
Instead…i will talk about an issue that cropped up on Wednesday that I saved for a rainy day (and…if you look out of your window (and you’re lucky enough to be in Korea) you will see that today is particularly rainy. So…we were sitting at lunch and NewYouYou was complaining to NewTiCOS about something a student had done during class. I checked out and ate my lunch silently…figuring that it would come to me if it needed to, and it’s not really my place to get involved. So…the story wound on for a minute or three…and then I hear my name a few times…and realise that the ball is headed my way.
Me-“What happened?” NYY- “In 6-3 class a boy was very rude to me.” Me- “What did he do?” NYY- “Well, I gave them their tests and he said to the class, ‘she always gives tests, she is just like YouYou’.
Now…NewYouYou hasn’t had to be around the students for very long to learn that a kid saying that she’s ‘just like YouYou’ is a major fucking insult…so…she wasn’t very impressed.
I asked her what she had done. The answer? Nothing.
Now…let me clarify something before I move into the next chapter of this very much un-sordid tale…that doesn’t bother me in the slightest. That’s her style. We’re different teachers, and her being new in the school, she’s trying to work through the subtleties of the disciplinary systems that we have in place. She asked me if I would talk to the boy, and set him straight.
So…after lunch (the eating of lunch…not the lunch break) I went to the 6-3 classroom…and was quickly pointed in the direction of the student who had offended NewYouYou. I looked at him…and said, “Come to my office please.” He started crying…and his homeroom teacher (a nice young chap who I’ve known for the past four years) came over. “Maybe he is sorry?” HRT said. “Maybe he is.” I agreed. “What should he do?” HRT asked. ”Go and apologise to NewYouYou,” I suggested. Long story short…the kid apologised and I went to the homeroon at the start of the next lesson and gave them a five minute chat about appropriate behaviour and basic expectations. Nothing angry or harsh…just a polite reminder that this isn’t last year, and we aren’t about to get ourselves into a YouYou situation here. NewYouYou is alright…a nice lass…and a decent teacher…she deserves better than what the student’s have given her so far.
Facebook, Twitter, and all Australian news outlets…for some reason The Australia Network didn’t show the first game of the season…and I’m hoping to download it either very late tonight, or very early tomorrow so that I can watch it at school tomorrow afternoon while I lesson plan.
Why should you care?
Well…you shouldn’t…unless you try to contact me via Twitter, Facebook or Australian News networks until further notice.
I’ve had a lot of people (two) over the past three weeks ask me about my Kindle Touch. Do I like it? Was it worth the money? Is it shit? Is it awesome? Well…i shall answer all of these questions…and more!!
Let me start by saying that the I am a BOOK person. I majored in Library and Information Studies at university, and I love the smell, feel, and general everything of books. I got my first Kindle a couple of years ago, and I was ready to hate it. It was this Kindle here, the ‘Kindle Keyboard’ as it’s now called.
I love that the picture has a hand in it…so that if you want to know what your stuff looks like if a white woman is holding it…you can see. Very handy (see what I did there?). Anyways…the ‘Kindle Keyboard’ was my first Kindle, and (as I may have mentioned in previous blog posts) I was pretty shocked by how quickly I moved beyond my not wanting to use an ebook. If you’re reading a decent book (my first book was ‘iWoz’ about Apple co-founder Apple Wozniak) then you stop noticing the Kindle within five or six minutes. It’s like “I’m reading on a machine, I’m reading on a machine, I’m reading on a machine…Wozniak did WHAT?”.
So…I was ready to love my new Kindle Touch when I ordered it a few months ago… was ready to go all fanboy crazy and change my name to Kindle Man…and then…I got the thing…and…I loved it. It’s a lovely little piece of kit. It’s a little smaller than the ‘Keyboard’ model, and there’s no keyboard (hence the name). The touch screen takes a little longer to get comfortable with than the buttons next to the screen on the keyboard, but once I got used to it, it was much better to read on than the keyboard model.
I think that if I was less transient, I might still prefer books to ebooks, but the kicker for me is the fact that I can carry a couple of thousand books with me wherever I go…meaning that I can avoid having to choose between a fire sale or storage every time I move from one country to the next! It’s also a good way to get some variety! I’m not having a go at What The Book? or Kyobo…BUT…the selection of books is less than exciting…especially for people who don’t like second hand books. Maybe it was working in libraries…but once I realised that punters tend to read a lot of stuff when they’re sick and sneezing…I couldn’t look at another second hand book. They’re dead to me!
So…Korean living folk…I reckon you could do worse than getting a Kindle…the international edition WILL ship to Korea now…
and if that fails…try the unicorn meat!!
Not sure about the Unicorn Meat to be honest…or with the way that the second (much whiter than the first) hand is holding that Kindle Touch…it’s an invitation for destruction!
How are you doing today? I hope that you’re well…because your loyal leader and super chatmeister is FUCKING DYING!!!! Yeah…you cunts heard me right. I’m dying!
Sorry to swear, but there’s no doubt that in my reduced state, simple curse words are the most immediate source of discourse. I like that. Source of discourse. Probably makes no sense…but I wouldn’t know…because…I am unwell. You would have known this if you’d bothered to read what I wrote a minute or two ago. I don’t think that I stuttered. Not that there’s anything wrong with people who stutter. I used to have to visit a speech therapist…when I was in early primary school (elementary school for those of you who choose to speak English in a way that befuddles Australians). I couldn’t tell you exactly why I had to see a speech therapist…I can’t remember. I can remember being surprised that I needed to see one…I thought I had the whole speaking gig down to a fine art. I know that I didn’t get the whole ‘th’ thing down until I was maybe 13 or 14…but I’m lucky to be Australian…which meant that nobody actually noticed until my Mum’s fucktarded friend Heather decided to make a big fucking song and dance of it one day. I remember being moderately embarrassed, but also determined to correct what was, a previously un-noticed, yet obviously irritating to others, ailment. So…I did. I had to think about my pronunciation at first…but it became natural soon enough. All of which is to say…that my saying ‘I don’t think I stuttered’ was not meant as a slur on the stutterers of the world…who I have a certain level of empathy for.
Not sure where I was.
I’m a bit crook. Nothing too serious…I’m still at school…still teaching…still doing the shit that I do. I’ve had an interesting morning arguing with Liberal voters (for you Americans I mean Conservatives…don’t ask why…but the Conservative Party in Australia is known as the Liberal Party) on Reddit Australia after my Gillard blog post was linked too over there. They were up in arms because I didn’t abuse the current (Labor) PM. Now…I agree that Gillard did a terrible job with the questions…but for my money…the journalist was being lazy when he used the term ‘Ordinary Koreans’…and as my blog is more about Korea than Australia at the moment…that’s what I focused on. I am sure that when I move home…I will care more about the Australian angle…but right now…I only care about domestic issues here in Korea. I should say that both questions were good questions…but they aren’t related to what I blog about (one being about racism in Australia, and the other being about North Korea (a subject that I occasionally discuss…but seeing as how the PM added nothing to the debate…there’s nothing blog worthy for me)) so I didn’t get into it. Long story short…someone linked the blog there and said that it was ‘The Korean Perspective’. Now…I’m not Korean…so quite how my blog could give the Korean perspective…I don’t know. Secondly, as the Libs were all getting bitter and angry about Gillard’s inability to answer questions…my blog about something else entirely…didn’t add to the conversation they were having…so they just went mental. Long story short…I explained the context…and we all calmed down.
Happy fucking days!
I actually enjoyed having a reasonable conversation with people who were able to construct full and meaningful sentences. It made a pleasant change from my blog arguments on here. I mean…Eve was just a vitriolic arsehole who got far too angry to ever meaningfully discuss anything. She would just make shit up and try and hide everything in rhetoric. Having said that…there was a time when I enjoyed her blog, and when she writes without trying to self promote, argue, belittle, bully, cajole, or intimidate…she’s fine. My recent ‘discussions’ with David were nothing like arguing. They would follow that age old dialogue model of -
Man A - writes something.
Man B - objects to writing and makes generic and horribly inaccurate statements of non fact, whilst insulting Man A and demanding that people ignore everything Man A has ever said.
Man A - responds, and disputes the ‘points’ of Man B’s argument.
Man B - makes generic statements about people of Man A’s profession and racial background whilst claiming that Man A hates everyone and everything within the country that he resides.
Man A - responds and suggests that Man B is a fucktard, who has no idea what he is talking about.
Man B - calls Man A a bully.
Yeah…we’ve seen it a million times before…it’s so predictable!
Yes indeed…it sure was nice to be allowed the room to start off poorly, correct my initial statement…and then explain where I was coming from. It’s nice to finish an argument feeling like you understand the other person’s point of view a little…and they understand yours.
Interesting…three more videos of a woman smoking/getting into arguments on the subway…am I losing my fucking mind…or is it really the same woman as in the earlier video?
Indeed it is.
Clearly someone in need of assistance.
I must say that the violence in the third video (in particular)is disgusting…and I hope that the man is brought to justice. The thing that saddens me about this entire series is just how quickly it seems that the men in these videos are willing to resort to violence against a woman.
It’s your fearless leader and Dragon Slaying King Of All That Is Fucking Amazing…BURNDOG!!!!!
Did you miss me? i bet you did!
How are you doing? You alright?
Me? I’m sick! Yeah…that’s right…sick. So…go and get your tissues and get ready to inherit a metric fucktonne of awesome shit…Burndog’s dying. Well…he has a cold. Still…as a whiny little sooky pants…there’s fuck all that I can do aside from moan and whine about it.
So…how was your Tuesday night?
Mine was great! I had been invited to the Changdeokgung Palace Moon Tour, which was being held as part of the Nuclear Summit…and it was a fucking blast! There were supposed to be 20 foreign journalists in total…but only 2 of us turned up. This was good…as it meant that me and the other chap (Jon…who I knew…as luck would have it) were able to ask all of the stupid questions that we liked. The palace itself is quite lovely…very different from Gyeongbokgung, but equally special and interesting. I went to Gyeongbokgung last year when it was open in the evening…and the palaces of Seoul look amazing at night time. If you ever see that one of them is open for the evening…be sure to get your bottom (and the rest of you) over there straight away. Following our walk and guided tour…we were taken to a lovely little stage area (still outside) where we were treated to some amazing traditional Korean music.
Fucking great night…photos will be posted on Burndog’s Slightly Wanky Photos over the next few weeks or so.
The aside is that Seoul was in total fucking lock down and there were police EVERYWHERE. They were quite friendly, nodding and saying hello (people being polite to a white man in a suit…why I never!) as I walked past…but I was still struck by the sheer number of them. Traffic was a nightmare…and my 45 minute bus journey took over 2 hours…so…it was a good thing I had that piss!
A new feature of my blog will be a David Section. Within the David Section…I will discuss any trolling issues that I might have….so here is…The David Section.
The David Section.
Hello there. Your hero…and Dragon Slayer…ME…has killed David again…see the comments section of yesterday’s blog to read more of the snake Derrick’s lies, mis-representation, and pig fisting. Yeah…he fists pigs. I’m as shocked as you are.
Burnfans. I have a little treat or two for you on Monday…so…be…excited.
The Age...Gillard Strikes Wrong Note with Ordinary Koreans...
Just a quick note to complain about a newspaper piece that appeared in my hometown newspaper today. Now…as you’re possibly aware…the Nuclear Summit thingamy is on in Seoul at the moment…so…the Australian Prime Minister is in town. This gives Australian newspapers a great opportunity to send their ‘Asian correspondents’ into Seoul from China and Japan(invariably this is what Australian newspaper’s view as ‘Asia’). In this article, John Garnaut, The Age’s China correspondent, criticises the Australian Prime Minister for not adequately answering the questions of ‘ordinary Koreans’.
Oridinary Koreans such as Yoon Hye-In, a law student at the prestigious Yonsei University. Ordinary Koreans such as Ken Yun, the son-in-law of POSCO founder Park Tae-Joon…and head of the Korean arm of accounting firm KPMG. Yeah…these are the two ‘ordinary Koreans’ that the Australian Prime Minister failed to strike a chord with. I guess that if one thinks that law students at top universities, and heads of global accounting firms with extraordinarily powerful family connections are ‘ordinary’, then the article is spot on.
I find the entire article a load of wank to a certain extent. Yes, Gillard could have answered the questions directly and not used such bullshit spin. No, failing to answer questions posed by the elite of Korean society does not mean that someone has offended ‘ordinary Koreans’. The questions were both good questions that I would like to have answers about…but at the same time…what’s with the beat up? It’s a dual edged sword. On one side, the journalist gets to lay the boot into an unpopular Prime Minister at a time when most people seem to enjoy that sort of thing…and on the other, there’s that stupid cultural cringe in there…when we expect that ‘ordinary Koreans’ give a fuck about Australia.
Most Koreans probably don’t give a fuck about Australia…and I don’t fault them for that. When I mentioned the Australian Prime Minister the other day, my students laughed because they thought her name was Julia Killer. Why do ordinary Australians need to know anything about Korea? Why do ordinary Koreans need to know anything about Australia? The fact is…they probably don’t. There’s nothing wrong with that..but it does shit me to tears that these articles always pop up when the PM is in town…and there’s always this inference that she has offended great swaths of the populace here with her answers…or questions…or hair.
Well…today I was going to make your minds explode with joy as I bombarded you with the awesomeness of PSAs and other madness…however…I don’t have the time.
I am aware that many of you social retards will be shattered now…and I can dig that. I mean…here you are…living in your mum’s basement…and your only source of fun is this shitty blog…and now…I’m much too fucking busy to show you love.
I’m a cunt.
I’ve got a repairman coming over to my apartment at 3:30 to fix some shit…and then I am attending one of the functions related to the Nuclear Summit in Seoul. I know…I know…I’m one lucky S.O.B…but hold your sympathy…because…I’m getting a cold!!! NewYouYou has given it to me.
I will curse her name every time I sneeze.
In other news…David’s willpower held out for one full before he commented again. No wonder he was a drug addict…no willpower.
“…you should promote Korean stuff over American stuff to your students, not share American culture.”—
This is a quote from a Fromspring question on another Tumblr blog. I just want to wholeheartedly disagree with this portion (especially) of what the anon said. I’m not American…BUT…I think that it’s totally appropriate for foreign teachers to share details and experiences from their culture with their students. That’s a big part of why we’re here. The cultural exchange is one of the most special and important parts of the Native English Teacher’s role. We learn about Korea through our teachers and students (and other sources to be sure), and we share our culture with them. It’s quite natural and quite lovely. The students understand Korean ‘stuff’ very well…our role is to show respect for the Korean ‘stuff’, but also share the valuable and worthwhile segments of our own cultural heritage…and no…I’m not talking about The Hunger Games!
These trolls are gonna keep on trolling if you keep feeding them.
There’s been some chit chat about Public Service Announcements today…and I just want to start by sharing this awesome Korean anti marijuana PSA from the ‘70’s. Brilliant. I wish they had these on the subway.
I bet you poor slackers are close to death, tears, and all manner of post self-coital injuries. Poor sods. I don’t post on Friday…and then leave you to your own devices for a fair portion of today…and you’re left fapping about and smashing cars, like you made Kony2012 (allegedly). Now…I’m sure that you’ve a million questions about what I’ve been up to…so let me try and explain myself without actually explaining myself.
1)On Friday I went somewhere and did some stuff with some people. It was lovely. I ended up being on the Arirang News on Friday night…which was a bit of a shock. I’ll explain more at another date…but no…I was not on the news for anything criminal…quite the opposite. Actually, now that I think of it, the opposite of being on tv for committing a crime would be to be on tv for solving a crime…and I didn’t solve any crimes either. In fact…the reason that I was on there…was not related in any way to crimes…solving or committing. So…let’s just move on hey?
2)Friday night I had dinner with a mate. Lots of chit chat. Nice times.
3)Saturday was nice. A bit of snow (probably the last time I’ll see proper snow for a year and nine months) and a lot of time with The Bird. We drank this bottle of Bundaberg Over Proof Rum. It knocked me out.
4)Sunday was just a shit lazy day…relaxed at home…watched movies…played games…ate curry. Tops.
Today has been alright. Showing the kids the Arirang clip…and generally enjoying the day. It’s been a satisfying day. I killed the dragon last week…so this week is the week post dragon kill, where the hero (in this case (and many others)me) gets to enjoy the peace and tranquility of the forest now that the dragon has been cut to ribbons. It was always the way things would end.
Now what? What does the dragon slaying, and most popular blogger in all of Korea do when the dragons have all gone from this world? We can never know that children. For so long as there are interwebs, there shall be dragons ready for the kill.
For example…I’m sick to death of fucktards slagging off foreigners. Every second post these days seems to be about ‘weird foreigners’…or ‘poorly dressed foreigners’ …or ‘lame foreigners’. As a weird, poorly dressed and mostly lame foreigner…let me be the first to tell you to go fuck yourself. I don’t dress, act or exist for your amusement, entertainment or approval. If that’s difficult for you to understand, please try a little harder. I’m also tired of the whole ‘Korea as fetish’, ‘Koreans as idiots’ vibe that is prevalent these days. Yes…Korea is fascinating. No…Korea is not so fascinating that I care about how much shoes are. Yes…Korean PSA’s are funny to us. No…we aren’t better than Koreans because their PSA’s are funny to us. Later today (or maybe tomorrow) I hope to have some time to analyse some PSA’s from other countries…so that you can see that everyone needs to be told shit that seems strange out of context. Deal with shit people. Deal. With. Shit.
“Today…is fucking dragging. Slowest two classes of my life. With all of this gloomy weather…I sure would appreciate a new globe in my office…as sitting here in the darkness and trying to type…not as much fun as it seems. I’m slightly pissy this morning.”—
I have a feeling it’s not. People who earn less than me are paying at least 40 000 won.
(but 15,880 is at least more in the realistic ballpark than the 160 000 won the website was spitting out at me…when I was including my housing. which I don’t have…
It’s complicated…BUT…they don’t take money out for your apartment, airfare or completion bonus…BUT…if you receive those things, then they will charge you at the end of the year. This rule started about two years ago, and it sucks! In the past, foreign teachers always got refunds…now…I don’t know anyone who hasn’t had to pay at the end of the year. My last two years I’ve had to pay 500,000 and 200,000…it’s not a lot…but it’s worth noting that the apartment, airfares and completion payments are all considered income.
I will be away from the computer…and in Seoul receiving awards and anointing for my services to Korean Culture. No shit!
I shall explain all on Monday…and I’m certain that you shall wish to stick your pie holes somewhere near my stinky parts…that’s how exciting this shit promises to be. For you. For me. For us.
Before I leave…today is the final day of visiting my pod that my pet troll David…aka Dr Tee…aka archaeologist…aka Derrick…aka hairy lip…aka mysogo man will visit the pod. He has given up, and is bowing out of the contest. Why?
Because I am the fucking dragon slayer…and he is another on the pile of dead bloggers, commentators, fucktards, try hards, and various other dragons…that I have cleaved. He came. He saw. I kicked his arse. This is the way of shit for those who choose a rumble in this jungle. First there was Sick Boy. Gone. Then there was YC. Gone. Jaguar? Dispatched. John From Daejeon. Who the fuck was that? He’s John from Dae…GONE! Eve? That bird named after a douche? Haven’t heard from her for ages. David? Well…he came…and he had a crack…but he has decided to tuck tail and run. It’s nae skin off of my neck…BUT…I feel let down. I thought that a big tough wanker like David would have managed more than a couple of months.
It wasn’t to be.
It seems that a lady magnet like David just doesn’t have the time to sit and chat about how much of a fuckhead I am…much less the extra time it takes to explain why he hates women. It’s a busy schedule of blessing shit, masturbating over cat photos, and wolf whistling mirrors for our boy David. It’s a shame. I was hoping that the real Dr David/Derrick Thiessen was going to come over here and bust fake DT’s nut hole. Interesting that plastic David is running just as shit got interesting. It would seem that David could not overcome this blogging Goliath…which just proves what Jesus always said, “you can’t believe shit just because it’s in the bible yo! Bitch, please!”
Farewell David. I shall flush twice in order to ensure your safe passage through the sewers of your mind. I shall miss you, and will undoubtedly write about you from time to time. Whether it’s when your fake self writes an article where he talks to himself (part one of a two part series where the newspaper clearly suggested the second part never be written)…or when he attacks Flint on youtube…I shall think…only of you.
That’s who I am. Now that I’ve clarified that…let’s get into shit.
I’m not good at saying good-bye. I know that it’s a horrible cliche, and one that’s certain to make you roll your fucking eyes, and shake your all knowing melon…but I’m not. No fucking shit. I have no idea why, but I get far more emotional than is absolutely necessary, and cry any time that I assume cunts won’t judge me for it. Yeah. I’m a big fucking crybaby. Like Meatloaf in Fight Club, but with slightly bigger man-tits. Late last week, I went to visit the Principal in her office to submit my letter of resignation. She read the letter (I guess now that I’m leaving she can admit that she can read English), and looked at me gently, before talking about her daughter who lives in America, and the importance of returning home to your family when you can. I explained that I considered the school community to be my family here, and that leaving here after four years was more difficult than leaving my real family was all those years ago (time changes perspectives I’m sure). I didn’t actually say that of course. I mean…I tried to say it…but I got weepy after the fifth fucking word! The old bird understood though…she gave me a little tap on the shoulder and smiled as if to say, “fucking cry baby.”
Korea is proving a very difficult break up.
Time for me moves so quickly in Korea, even after four years, so I feel like I’ll be back on the plane home before I finish writing then next fucking sentence. Everything…is…happening…so…very…quickly…and in an intangible way, like shit’s just out of reach, and just outside of time. I look at everything and wonder if it’s the last time. My last trip to Gwangju, my last visit to Gyeongbokgung, the last norae, the last soju, the last lesson, the last bus ride. Sooner or later everything has its last time…everything you’ve ever done becomes something that you will never do again. Every place becomes a memory, a photo, an anecdote…a forgotten event. Wenise Kim (the head of GEPIK when I got here) described our time in Korea as an important season in our lives. I liked Wenise…she saw things in the proper perspective…and she was right. Korea keeps cycling through the seasons, and my time here will be remembered by relatively few people…but for me…it has been a cracking season. A season of sun, and joy, and hard work. I look at this season’s passing and understand that I did my best work, and made the most of it…and I can be proud.
I awoke at the time that He ordained and prayed that he might guide me to the kitchen. He did guide me with His grace and mercy, and allowed me to pour forth a bowl of delicious Sultana Bran. I asked that he might guide the milk into the bowl, and make the contents not only milky, but also delicious. It was so. If I managed to make a good breakfast, then the credit must go to God for His teaching and His guiding my hand upon the milk, and my spoon into the bowl. I prayed that God would grant me a good shower, and, lucky for me, he granted me a great shower! Blessed are those whose hands are guided to the soap by the Lord! Amen.
Breakfast and shower quickly dispensed with at His mercy, and it was time for me to ask for His guidance again. Would He guide me to school? Was there some other purpose? Well…He did guide me to school, but not before sending me to offer guidance and ministry to a cat which had clearly lost its path. This wretched beast was clearly occupied by the stray black heart of the devil, as evidenced by it’s obsence lack of trousers, and its steadfast unwillingness to heed from me the words of my Lord and Saviour! I did what any good man would do, and slaughtered the beast, so that judgement upon its soul may be given to the Lord. I prayed that the Lord would free me from the blood stains upon my hands.
On this occassion I was forsaken, so, as was His intention I imagine, I wandered the school, showing the blood of the Lord as a message to the students that He is always watching them. It is tough and depressing to have to pay for someone else’s sins but all good teachers have to do it, even if that someone else is a cat. The morning passed quickly enough, what with my English lessons that I had ‘altered’ from the original text. For example…”My Name Is Minho” becomes “My Name Is Sinner and I must quickly repent”, and “It’s in the Box” is now,”It’s wherever God wants it to be, and who the heck am I to question His work?”, “Don’t Touch That!” is now, “Don’t Touch That You Will Go Blind And Jesus Is ALWAYS Watching You.” This week it was Lesson 5 “He’s A Dancer” which I had corrected to be “He’s A Dancer - Which We All Know Is A Sin, And He Must Be Punished.” It’s important to teach 4th Grade English, but even more important is teaching them right minded, clean living.
After school, the Lord guided me home, he told me to troll various blogs and message boards and stroke my rapists moustache while I made vaguely threatening, pseudo-religious posts onto secular blogs. I didn’t ask Him to, but God gave me a hard on while I did this…and lo…i did stroke my Jesus-boner. In order to distract myself, I quickly dressed in my most modest house dress, gently whipped my wife-sister and climbed into the specially crafted box that I sleep in while I wait for Jesus’ space ship to come and save me.
I can’t wait to ride up to Subnebular Chrontron 2074679…just me…and Jesus…and none of these lousy NETS with their secular hair and their non prayed for cereal! Bah!
How’s shit? Happy? Sad? Bed wetting? Me too…don’t feel bad about it…it’s just a phase that we’re going through. Still…wet sheets are better than no sheets at all! Am I right? Am I right? Of course I fucking am!
Anyways…I gave you animals a dramatic headline, so I’d best make like some sort of postage related fella…and deliver some shit! There’s trouble. Nothing the size and shape of YouYou…BUT…NewTiCOS and I aren’t working perfectly. Now. Let me go through the current co’s and how shit’s working.
NewYouYou - The English Conversation Teacher (ECT). She’s alright…a few teething problems…but she listens to advice that the teachers give her…and seems to be getting better every lesson. She still needs to plan her lessons more, and focus on pre-listening comprehension…but it’s night and day compared to YouYou.
NewTiCOS - The proper Co. She’s co-taught previously, but only for one year. She’s not very good at communicating shit to me. She’s VERY good at classroom management, and whilst her classes are kind of boring, she clearly kens her shit.
So…what’s wrong with your favourite whiner?
Nothing serious…just a few little things.
Little thing 1.
She steals my shit. There’s nothing inherently WRONG with her stealing my shit…but it annoys me when I go to plan a lesson with her, and she copies my powerpoints and then uses them in the lesson that we don’t co-teach. It’s not what I consider fair.
Little thing 2.
She steals my shit. In the first lesson…we watch a video. I ask some pre and post listening comprehension questions. In the second, third, and fourth lesson…she asks ALL of my questions…leaving me with nothing to do. I know that they’re good questions (because I thought of them)…but it’s just manners to let me have some shit to do. Wouldn’t you think?
Little thing 3.
She doesn’t communicate with me. Now…I can already hear the voices of negativity complaining that I’m ‘only’ a foreigner…and she doesn’t HAVE to communicate shit to me if she doesn’t want to. That’s cool…but if you wait a second…I’ll explain what I mean. Yesterday afternoon…I noticed the maintenance fella…fucking about with the door to my office. I didn’t know what he was up to…and I didn’t ask. Why? Because he’s got a job to do…and the bloke doesn’t need my fucking face in his every time he wants to fuck about with some shit. Today, I’m in class, and I can see out of the window that the fella is fucking about with the door to my office. I ask NewTiCOS what the fuck is going on and she explains that he’s changing the lock to my office because we need to lock it after school. I explain that I have a key to the office, and can lock it. She is surprised. If she’d just fucking told me that she wants the door locked (the old TiCOS told me to NEVER lock the office because there are books in here that other people want to access!!) then I would have locked the door. She didn’t tell me…and just assumed that there was no key to the lock…so the maintenance bloke wasted 30 minutes changing a perfectly good lock…for no reason at all. Waste of time…equals waste of taxpayers money.
Little Thing 4.
She doesn’t listen to me. I have asked for the light in my office to be replaced. I have asked for three months. Nothing has happened. I can’t stay late and work if my light doesn’t work…so I leave at 4:30 on the dot. See…this shits me. I’ve been waiting three months to get the light fixed…but because it’s just me and my work…nothing gets done. The nightwatchman complains about my office not being locked every night…and they change the locks completely within a day. My work is real. The threat of someone coming into my office and stealing an English book…or a toy koala…well that’s just in some old bloke’s imagination. But they work on the fake shit first.
These are the signs that there’s trouble in paradise folks. I had a chat with NewTiCOS over lunch…and she accepts that things need to be done a little better. So…we’ll see how it goes hey?
Just a short post this arvo (there was an earlier post…you’re free to read that at your leisure). It’s a lovely day…the sun’s shining…the birds are singing…and all of the beauty of creation is alive and shining.
So…forget about this pile of shit for a while…and go and enjoy the sun! I’m so glad that the whiners have left me to sit on my own for a bit! The whiners! I should say whiner!!! That clown of many names…with his false promotion to boss where he thinks he can run the show! He thinks he is here to tell the bloggers, the burnfans and other NETS that they have it wrong and that it must be done his way. He doesn’t understand that he is solely here to read the blog not run the show, not tell his betters how to do it.
I’ve decided that I won’t post about David anymore. If you want to read his wank, then feel free to check out the comments section of the blog. He writes rubbish in there.
I am not going to block him, but I’m not going to feed him anymore either.
Yes…I believe in your freedom of speech…no I don’t believe that I have to provide you a wider platform for that speech.
If you have a problem with that…I apologise…but…you are free to comment about it.
David has never answered some fundamental questions btw…and if he answers those…then I might post them…only because there is public interest. One wonders how he got the time to achieve such world renowned status and think it gives him permission to usurp all permissions and control.
The questions I want answered -
1. Who are you really? You’re not really David Thiessen…or whatever his name is. So…who are you?
2. Why do you hate women so much?
3. Where are your examples of me saying bad things about Korea or Koreans?
How are you doing? Are you well? Happy? Feeling chipper?
I’m alright. Working with NewYouYou today, and it’s going well enough. She went a bit too quickly with the book in the first lesson…but responded well to a little post class chit chat…and our next lesson was brilliant.
See…yesterday I posted a fart on my blog (I’m trying to reclaim the word fart to mean, discussion about a serious issue where I got pissy) about a fella from the Subway Police stating that sexual assault on Line 2 occurs because women wear short skirts and low blouses…and today…I’ve had a couple of comments from David (you might recall that he is the regular poster who is impersonating Dr David T) that I feel compelled to address.
Comment 1 -
"If the world was perfect there would be no crime and law enforcement would have nothing to do. Stop expecting infallible acts from fallible people. It doesn’t matter which side of the fence one looks at, the same sin nature is in all people and they will make mistakes, do sinful behavior and screw up justice."
This logic is ridiculous. Oh, these poor men, overcome with sin…men make mistakes…why would you expect them not to? Poor men. Woe is them! What a load of shit. Sorry…but it is. Using this logic, we should just remove all laws and police forces. We should accept that people will sin and break the law and that’s just because we are all dirty sinners and it’s about time we all just grew up and accepted that the odd rape and murder is the price that we pay for the human condition. I’m sorry David…but the idea that it’s wrong to expect that people might be able to refrain from sexually assaulting people on the subway (at best), or perhaps asking that the subway police investigate options to reduce the number of sexual assaults, aside from just saying that women are to blame (at worst)…is simply pathetic. I wonder if you were in a position where you had to fear sexual assault, if that might make you wish that the police did a little more than simply pray for less sin?
A second point and it is not to fall into the ‘blame the victim’ category. Women need to dress more modestly. Showing off all that they have for all men is not attractive and shows how little character and integrity they have.
Well…I barely even know what to say…and I’m going to take the less is more approach with this comment…and just make a simple point or two…and people can discuss this with you in the comments section…BUT…I just want to say…women don’t dress FOR men…and it’s none of your business what women wear or why they wear it. Sorry. It’s not. There’s no excuse for sexual assault. Not sin…not clothing options…not anything. It’s clear that you hate women…and your earlier comments about women on my other blog (where you said "Women do instigate the abuse they get as well." in relation to victims of domestic violence) support this assertion. I am not sure if you really hold these views, or if you are simply trying to shame the real Dr David T by dragging his name through the mud, however, either way is pathetic. I’ve a good mind to email the real Dr David T and let him know what you are trying to do…he’s a decent Christian man who deserves better than to be ridiculed by the likes of you!
Aside from that…I’m too busy this morning to outline the other 3,456,723 things that were abhorrent about your comments…so I’ll leave you to call me a bully and complain in the comments.
Now…that’s three links in one sentence…a new Burndog record!! The article is a small breakdown of sexual offences which were solved (the offender was apprehended) on subway trains, or at stations from January to March. The article struggles with the fact that Line 2 accounted for 61.7 percent of all of the offences solved.
So…why do most offences that were solved occur on Line 2?
According to a senior officer with the Subway Police, the reason is because -
"…many women commute to the Gangnam region and they wear relatively low-cut dresses and short skirts."
Now…the statistics state that the most ‘dangerous’ time for women is between 7 and 9 am when 64.1% of these offences occurred. So…we are supposed to believe that in a subway carriage where people can barely move, much less see clearly what other people are wearing…that these offenders are acting on a visual impulse driven by what women are wearing rather than based on their own impulses combined with their opinion that they might be able to escape arrest?
It’s unfortunate that people in authroity see fit to continue to blame women for offences that men commit…and before I get the usual backlash of “men are victims too”…let’s remember that it was the senior officer who reported that women were the victims of these offences…so there’s no point trying to derail the issue with another one of those stupid arguments.
The fact is, men commit sexual assaults MUCH more frequently than women…and…men also police sexual assault in Korea MUCH more frequently than women. It’s a shame that with that policing there seems to be a very narrow and detrimental focus on the reasons for sexual assault…as such a narrow view will lead to equally narrow suggestions for how this problem can be solved.
If a senior police officer blames womens short skirts, or low blouses…then difficult solutions (which may or may not actually work btw) such as public awereness campaigns, women’s only carriages, or extra plain clothed officers in cars on Line 2, simply get shouted down by dickheads who say, “why don’t the women wear longer skirts?” or “they should not show their cleavage, it’s their fault.” Not to mention the fact that when a senior officer blames women for their clothing, then future victims, who have read his opinion, might be reluctant to come forward, for fear that they too will be blamed for wearing a short skirt, or a low enough to deserve sexual assault blouse! It must also be difficult for past victims of these assaults to read this senior officer’s opinion, and wonder if he was blaming them for what was done TO them. When we set the bar for debate so low, it’s no wonder that we struggle to find working solutions, and when we blame women for the actions of men, then we are doomed to fail at ever getting this shit right.
so let’s allow fake David a comment on this…most pathetic stage of all -
i wonder why you have weblog? It contributes nothing to society or people in general. By the way, I do not consider black face racist, nor would I consider white face on a black person racist. Freedom of speech covers that quite well. The distortions you made just prove me correct about you and 98% of the NETs in this country. You obviously did not comprehend the articles and just decided to assume things and attack those assumptions.
I am getting used toyour bullying ways and they do not work. You continue to demonstrate your inability to rise above it all and let people have their own opinions, especially those who have a different point of view from yourself. You are exactly like the NETs described in those articles.
I didn’t expect the good behavior from you to continue after letting you know about the smear campaign but give it a rest and let people have their own perspective.
“i wonder why you have weblog?”
Yep…your English is perfect. Don’t change a thing.
I write the ‘weblog’ because I want to. The real question is why you read it? That’s an interesting question…but…much like the question of why you would impersonate Dr David Thiessen…it’s a question that you won’t answer. You never answer my questions.
I comprehended the articles that he wrote…and it’s clear to me that he is brave enough to criticise what he sees as wrong…whereas you just sit around having a wank and hoping that someone might help you out.
My inability to rise above it all? What about you? You come here every single day, hoping and dreaming that I might say something that you can jump up and down about. It’s pathetic…and like I said…it shows what a pathetic and cowardly little man that you are. You’re too chicken shit to criticise the people who REALLY hate Korea…and we all know it. Spineless little David with his keyboard and his fake identity, and his three inches of pride…a hard man who’s left limp by the bile and hatred…gone soft where it counts…a once big game player, sat limp on the sidelines…watching the boys take home the cup.
How are you doing? Are you feeling alright? That’s nice. This morning…which may well turn into this afternoon or tonight by the time I get this spit ball of shit typed, swiped and loaded…I’m going to talk about David. I’m not going to pass judgement…or say mean things. I’m just going to talk about David.
So…who is David?
I don’t know. The David who posts on my blog makes out that he is notorious Korea Times antagonist Doctor David Thiessen…but…I wonder…is it possible that it’s not Dr David T? I think it’s more than possible…and I’m going to explain why. ”David” on my blog has said some things that mirror the Dr D.T (it’s faster to type) philosophy…but there are times where my “David” is so far from DDT (even faster) that it’s impossible to believe that they’re both the same person. Example? Well…on my blog…”David” said that under no circumstances is a NET free to criticise a Korean. Does DDT agree with that? Looking at some of his articles in the Korea it would appear that DDT does NOT hold with this view at all.
Look at this article here…see? The REAL DDT is happy to stand toe-to-toe and criticise the shit of Koreans…and not just a single Korean…but the ENTIRE KOREAN EDUCATION MINISTRY! That’s a whole LOT of Korean people…and the real DDT feels that he is not only qualified to criticise them…but that he is qualified to criticise them in a National newspaper…in a language that most of them probably don’t speak! Our “David” would never stand for this sort of nonsense…and would no doubt cockpunch the real DDT if they were ever to meet…I mean…the real DDT goes nuts in his article…slamming the Education ministers, principals and even parents!! If he wrote a blog…our “David” would be trolling that sort of shit! No doubt!
Well…one swallow does not make a summer and all that shit…so are there any other examples of the real DDT criticising Koreans in a way that would make our “David” wet his trousers with rage? Well…I’m glad that I asked myself that question…because the answer is a resounding YES! See…not content with calling the entire Korean Education Ministry, principals and parents a bunch of soft cocks for sending their kids down ‘teen pregnancy, juvenile crime and delinquency river’ by making the school week a pissy five day affair…the REAL DDT then decided that it was time to CRITICISE THE ENTIRE FUCKING GOVERNMENT!!!! I shit you not (well…aside from the timeframe because the first article that I mentioned was written second…but…I’m trying to paint a fucking picture here people!)! Yeah…see DDT decided that the government had become a bunch of shithead puppets who were trying to ‘copy the west’…what with their five day school weeks and their stringent visa conditions. Yeah. Their stringent visa conditions. See…in the next article that I’m going to mention…this one…the REAL DDT lays a big shit on the Korean Government and their new visa requirements. Did he criticise any Koreans? Just the ENTIRE Government AND Employers!
These new regulations actually create a redundancy that could easily be avoided if employers and the Korean government learned to enforce the articles in our contracts.
See, the guy who posts here pretending to be DDT…well…he would never suggest that the ENTIRE Government AND Employers had to learn how to do their jobs. No fucking way! That slack bitch would just do what the government tells him, and shut his fucking mouth while he did it! Why? Because it’s the only way to maintain the mantra of not criticising Koreans! It’s what I do at school. Today…my co-teacher showed a PPT of a Korean comedian in black face…and asked the kids where he was from. The correct answer was Nigeria. Incredibly racist…BUT…I didn’t complain or criticise her. Why? Because it’s not my place. It’s clear to me that the REAL DDT might have taken the opportunity to write an article in the paper calling her a cock. Plastic “David”? He would have done the same as me.
So…it’s clear to me…just from these two examples…that “David” is not really Dr David Thiessen. It was a nice try…and a clear attempt to defame the good Doctor…but I don’t believe that “David” is anything more than a work of fiction…a character designed to make people think that the real Dr David T has nothing better to do than write semi-retarded ramblings on my piece of shit blog. Well…I don’t buy it.
Here’s the thing…why is “David” even here?
Let me explain. He’s here because he’s too scared to go after the sites that ACTUALLY hate Korea. He’s here because he knows that I’m not going to block him, delete him, or censor him. He’s here because he’s scared that if he attacks people who don’t like Korea, they’ll get bored of him and not reply to his needy rants. If he really loved Korea, and he REALLY wanted to change the hearts and minds of people who hate Korea…then he would deal with those people. I love Korea…but I don’t care much about what other people think. It’s like me…I love me…but I know that some people won’t feel the same way. When I was 12…I would feel sad that not everyone could love me…and I would try to convince them that I was awesome. Well…with maturity comes perspective…so these days, if someone hates me…I ask them to politely go and have penetrative intercourse with their own back passage. I do the same with people who hate Korea. Let them hate Korea…it just leaves more of Korea for me.
So…”David”…why don’t you go to Facebook (it’s a Media Outlet…like a ‘weblog’ or the New York Times) type in “Korea The Real Deal” and read the shit that people who actually hate Korea write…using their REAL NAMES! You’ll piss on your own wad with excitement! No shit (unless you do one of those too)! To get you all rock hard and pre-cumming…here’s a sample of what ACTUAL hatred of Korea and Koreans looks like -
"Hearing about friends getting screwed over at the Korean English schools again…What else is new? Koreans bitch and complain that the foreign teachers in Korea just give a shit about the money, but look at the them? They let the kids run around and act retarded and don’t even turn a blind eye. It’s all about the money down to the last 10won. I honestly think, the foreign teacher who first comes to Korea, really cares and is interested in helping the kids. But when the schools screw them over, and all the parents and common citizens make them feel like animals and robots, they begin to hate the country, THEN only THEN is it all about the money."
"An interesting thing I noticed over the years in Korea with some of my foreign buddies, is when they first arrive, they think it’s awesome and cool in Korea. Yeah I want to stay here forever! Then as time goes by, (well after my warnings) they stay longer, and start to see and experience the BS, anti-foreigner, blood money freakish ways Koreans can be. When you cross the street on a green light, look both ways every time."
So….”David”…I expect to see a few comments from you on their Facebook page. I expect to see you puff up your cheeks and spew forth your vitriol at these comments, which, in my opinion are just ignorant shit.
I don’t really expect that. I expect that you will continue your pathetic attempt to impersonate the real DDT and comment on here…because you’re scared of places like Facebook and Dave’s…where people will be a lot less polite than I have. In short…you’re an impersonator and a coward…and I hope that the REAL DDT finds your posts and kicks your arse!
How’s shit going? I hope you’re doing alright…I really do. No fucking shit.
So…here we are…on another crisp, cold, pleasant and generally lovely Korean day. The sun shines. The birds sing. The trees sway. I guess you want to hear about my day…and then hear all about K-boys and vampires? I mean…why would you be here if you weren’t after that shit? It’s in the title isn’t it? Of course it is!
So…with no further plodding…here’s the blog.
Third Grade today…and it was fun. Why wouldn’t it be? The first lesson ever for 3-2, the first lesson with me for 3-1, and the second lesson with me for 3-3. They’re cute little kiddies…and they enjoyed the lesson a lot. Some good banter and slapstick comedy with NewYouYou, and the classes were all simply lovely. I wish every day was like today…sort of. I say sort of because I don’t particularly enjoy teaching the smaller students…it’s just…not as…interesting? I don’t know…it just takes me longer to like the 3rd Grade students…and they love me instantly. I find it odd…like a needy girlfriend/boyfriend.
K-now…onto K-more K-important K-things.
For those of you who were confused by the term in my earlier re-post (and judging by my inbox…that’s a few of you) and the use of the term K-boys…let me try my best to explain…using other people’s words.
"Something about the term “Kboy” sets my teeth on edge. The people who use it the most in their writing seem to be the ones who base their ideas about Korea on what they see in Korean music videos/dramas, and are also on some sort of drug which makes 95% of Korean men appear abnormally handsome."
In my mind, “K-boy” is a subset of “Korean men” and a useful term for talking about the large group of 20-something Korean guys who do the metrosexual, glittery, cutesy thing that we have all come to know and love. It doesn’t refer to every Korean man, just like the term “Valley girl” doesn’t refer to every woman living in the Valley, and “Southern belle” doesn’t refer to every woman living in the South.
But what bothers me is that people seem to use the term “Kboy” when the term “Flower Boy” or 꽃미남 — could be (very.) wrong about the Korean — would suit the situation just as well and feels a bit… less problematic. It’s a legit term used to talk about the large group of 20-something Korean guys who do the metrosexual, glittery, cutesy thing, if you will. And personally, I find it less cringeworthy than calling them “Kboys.” Not saying everyone should use it, but. It’s weird to me that everyone who’s so familiar with Korea doesn’t use this term when it is a Korean term (and the perfect term for must uses of “Kboy”) and has been referenced in two famous dramas. Why use the all-encompassing “Kboy” instead?
I think that k-boy came into use rather than Flower Boy because 1) it is shorter than Flower Boy, and us on the internet are all about simplicity and shortness, and 2) it’s a natural progression from the other K abbreviations: Kpop, Kdramas, Kmovies, etc. I think the second reason is why I’ve never seen anything wrong with it, because it just felt like a progression from the others.
Flower Boy is too constrictive of a term as well, I know lots of Korean guys who wouldn’t fit the category of a flower boy, but can still be defined as a “k-boy” because they’re Korean.
In all seriousness though, I have to agree with the others that all the talk about K-boys, or rather Flower Boys since I am referring to the young, dandy ones, makes me feel old. Because I’m just not that into them as I was when I was 22-25
I don’t think anyone refers to their ajeosshi coworkers as “K-boys”, though. Or bus drivers or politicians or convicts or monks, no matter their age. It’s pretty referential to a specific age range and also, I feel, to a specific kind of physical appearance.
I feel like most people on Tumblr use the term “Kboys” as a blanket reference to all Korean men that are, to them, potentially dateable. Which usually means men in their 20s to 30s who are students or have an office job. There is nothing to my recollection indicating that any of these men were something other than average Korean citizens otherwise. I really doubt that many of them would qualify as 꽃미남 either… although until people start posting pictures of these guys that’s just my personal suspicion. Because I mean, how many real 꽃미남 do you see walking down the street each day?
I don’t think it’s really the word “Kboy” itself that bothers me as much as the context in which its used. Which is either:
1) To describe a guy in which the fact that he is Korean is of absolutely no relevance. Kind of what Girlinseoul was talking about in her reblog. I remember one Tumblr in which the author was talking about how she would be offended if “her Kboy” did something bad (this was a long time ago so I can’t remember exactly who). I mean, really? You wouldn’t be equally offended if your white boyfriend did the same thing?
2) Or the opposite situation, when it’s used when discussing gross and inaccurate stereotypes related to dating Korean men. “All Kboys do this,” “I want to date a Kboy because TOP oppa is so hot and I need a man just like him!” etc. etc.
And I know the people using it this way aren’t being offensive intentionally, but… no. For the love of God, please stop.
Now, seeing as you’ve come here…and read all of that…and formed your own opinion…and you think you know what’s what….LET ME BLOW YOUR FREAKING MIND HOLE!
I agree with number 10.
That’s the sound of your brain reacting with shock to the fact that I agree with someone…but…it’s all fucking true!
Maybe…just maybe…I’m too old for this shit…BUT…if someone EVER referred to The Bird as a K-girl…well…I just might go right ahead and smack them upside the head. Twice. If I find a term objectionable one way…then I find it objectionable both ways…so for me…for the personal reasons described…K-Boy…is a K-Fail.
Here’s the way I see it…the term’s new…people can’t agree on a clear definition…so it’s difficult to judge how offensive it is. Is it just a re-use of K as in K-Pop, K-drama, or K-Movies (I have to say that I’ve never heard the term K-Movies used…and I’ve to a few K-Film Festivals)? If so…then it’s difficult to find it offensive…yet we must then use the term to describe ALL Korean boys…not just a sub-set or specific type of Korean boy. This is because K-Pop describes ALL Korean pop…not just a selection. K-Drama…all Korean dramas. K-Movies…never heard of it….but let’s assume it’s ALL Korean movies. I think that this lack of precision hurts the term…because when people post things about K-Boys…some people assume that it means ALL Korean boys…and then as soon as you say “K-Boys do blah blah”, people will say, “wait…i know many K-Boys…none of them do that.” Why? Because they have a DIFFERENT definition of what a K-Boy is!!!!
So…we clearly need to work on a unified and agreed upon definition of ‘K-Boy’, so that when the term is used, it is correct, contextually relevant, and understood by all. So…get to work on that while I rest.
I don’t have time for my dissertation on “Vampire Transitions Through Time - from Nosferatu to Edward and why sparkles matter.”
They are fans of black pants especially of the tight and leather variety.
They are fans of coats with high collars.
They 95% of the time smell really good (and I’ve never come across a k-boy that smells bad)
They use all that BB cream as…
Also, they stay out all night; they never seem to sleep; and they sparkle.
Ummmm….perhaps I’m not reading enough into what INP wrote…but where exactly is the bit where she interpreted anything as a hurtful racist stereotype? I found the original joke to be a bit odd to be honest….for a start…Koreans eat a LOT of garlic…so there’s no chance that they could be vampires. Secondly…I’m not sure what a ‘K-boy’ is…and not sure how exactly someone qualifies as one (I’m not taking the piss here…I’m legitimately curious). What age range is required for someone to be a K-boy, rather than a K-man? I guess if you’re calling them ‘oppa’ then they’re older than you…so…I guess they’re about 24-25? Which is too old to be called boy!
The oppa thing is quite interesting. When I first came to Korea, places like Dave’s ESL cafe were full of people suggesting that women would never want to teach in Korea en-masse because Korean women are all so incredibly beautiful, and Korean men are all nerds who play Starcraft! During that period….there was much forehead slapping and cursing of the ignorance of men. I like this new influx of Korean savvy young women…and I hope that there are more Korean savvy young men on their way too. It’s not a bad thing to know ‘oppa’ before you come here…but it’s a sign of change…and I think to notice that change is not necessarily to hate it, or criticise it, or wish it away.
Anyways…I’ve broken my own rule about not trying to communicate before lunch…and now I’ve written a rambling incoherent mess. Sorry about that. Just wanted to suggest that there’s not always a subtext of hate beneath every critical message. For me…the vampire thing was funny…but it showed a VERY different view of young Korean men (leather pants and high collars?) and vampires (sparkle? Vampires don’t sparkle…unless they do!) which made me feel a little old too….which is O.K…because I AM a little old!
How are you doing? You alright? That’s nice. Why don’t you ask about me hey? Don’t give a fuck about how I’m doing do you? You selfish fucktard.
I’m crook. Not deathly or anything…but I ate something that’s caused me to feel like a busted arse. I had Japanese food last night…at my favourite local gaff. Nothing special…just a pork cutlet…some tempura vegetables…and a beer. There was this one slice of pork…that as I moved it to my mouth…appeared a touch too rare…but…i ate it anyway.
I’m that stupid.
So…I have spent most of last night…and a fair amount of today…moving things from inside my body…rapidly…to places outside my body. It’s been quite the process. Fortunately, I have managed to keep all of the things inside my body…inside…during class time. I could think of few things more embarrassing than vomiting in front of an entire class of students…although…i guess dropping a shart might be close. Fortunately…both ends have been stabilised during class time.
So…the point of this traffic and weather update…is just to say….have a nice day Burnfans.
Here’s a link to The Outside View…it’s a blog about Korean football…and also a podcast. If you’re interested in the K-League, the N-League, The AFC Champions League, or the Korean National team…have a look/listen. I’m an editor on the blog rather than a real contributor…but I have been known to be on the podcast from time to time.
but…here’s a reply to a comment left on the video I posted last night -
"Who is hiding their heads in the sand. I simply said it is better to let the Korean people handle these type of Korean people. A foreigner doing it will not usually bring about the desired results but I fear that many people simply disagree with me because I was the one who said it.
Adam’s comment is just ridiculous as it is too subjective to be of any value. What is good in one culture i snot necessarily good in another and if they discuss there must be some ultimate, independent, perfect standard in place to be able to label good and bad in the different cultures. If not then such tags are nothing but personal preference and have no meaning whatsoever.
Take for example the primitive tribes of Papau New Guinea. Years ago, at least one tribe felt that betrayl was the highest honor any one could achieve. When told the story of Judas betrayl of Jesus, all the natives ‘applauded’ Judas’ action and he gained stature in the natives’ eyes. Without an independent, perfect and higher standard to use as a measuring stick, then one is just forcing their cultural ideas upon another culture which does not share the same views of right and wrong, good or bad.
That is just as wrong as the guy in the above video. Americans and a lot of other westerners are very guilty of these very thing. They feel their culture is superior to all other thus the all others must conform to their point of view or be condemned. History is a good sourceof this mentality as the Spaniards did it in Central and South America, Other Europeans and newly minted Americans did so to the Western Indian, The British and others did it to the Africans, the Aborigini, the Indonesians, the South East-Asians and the present day westerner does it to the Koreans.
One, like Adam and Burndog, should not assume they know exactly what I mean when I write something as the perception of the listener is often influenced by their own ideas and theories which have nothing to do with my thinking or beliefs.
Talking about it with friends is not the same as telling other NETs who will abuse the information and use it in nefarious ways. A little common sense is indeedneeded on the listeners part. I also suspect that some respondants take minute, extreme positions or examples just to find something to oppose in my words because they really do not want to hear the truth or what someone has to say.”
Now…I’m going to answer this here…because it raises some interesting shit that’s worth discussing…and it’s stuff that relates to my blog…and the nature of it.
The hiding the head in the sand relates to my earlier comment which was a reply to something that a separate Burnfan wrote…it wasn’t directed at David…or his earlier comment. So…just to be clear…I wasn’t for a minute suggesting, or trying to suggest…that you had buried your head in the sand. I promise.
Adam’s comment is here -
My wife and her sister, often discuss their issues about Korea at length with me. I also relay this information to friends, both Korean and ex-pats. I don’t feel it’s wrong to discuss these things. Government issues and cultural issues.
We are all the same species, no matter what country we are from. Even if everybody has their own unique culture, until we can talk freely to each other, about good and bad things, there will be a massive divide.
We are all from one planet David. In order to evolve socially, we should be able to talk freely about the world.
I don’t find it ridiculous or subjective to suggest that people talking to each other, and sharing experiences can be a good thing. i would suggest that it’s a decent idea, and the basis upon which global diplomacy works. We talk and trade so that we can talk and trade. Adam suggesting that we can talk to each other about ‘good and bad things’ is not as perilous as you might suggest.
Your example of the tribe in New Guinea is actually a decent example of what Adam was suggesting. How would we have discovered that this tribe felt betrayal was the highest honour without talking? If we were not to talk with people from different cultures and backgrounds about issues and the day to day shit that makes the world move…we’d be poorer for it. Good and bad are entirely subjective concepts…entirely human concepts. A lion doesn’t consider its murder of another animal to be a bad thing…it’s just what is required to sustain its own life. However…as humans we can share and discuss our own values and morals…and we can learn about other people’s opinions and experiences. We can do this without necessarily demanding that people bow to our iron will.
”Americans and a lot of other westerners are very guilty of these very thing. They feel their culture is superior to all other thus the all others must conform to their point of view or be condemned.”
Let me guess…Microsoft Spell Check let you down again? Never criticise my English, or my reader’s English again…what a shabby pair of sentences. That aside…it’s not just “Americans and a lot of other westerners” who think that their culture is superior…I’m certain that you would find people in every culture who believe that their culture is the right one…or the best one…or the one shining example that others should follow. I happen to feel the opposite way about the culture in my homeland. I think ours is a very young and naive culture…one that is growing into itself.
You are so far off base to compare the colonial treatment of the British against the indigenous aboriginal people (aborigines…not aborigini (it’s not an Italian word)) of Australia (to cite just one of your examples) and the ‘present day westerner’s’ treatment of Koreans. I don’t know where you go, or what you do…but you seem to only meet the worst kind of fuckheads. The westerners I know in Korea are all very happy with life in Korea…and very grateful for the opportunities that Korea has given them. I don’t spend time with any people who think that Korean culture is less than their own…and I don’t know how you keep coming back to this absurd notion that most foreigners don’t like Korea…or that they routinely attack Korea. That’s just bullshit…and you’ve got your head in the sand if your believe otherwise.
One, like Adam and Burndog, should not assume they know exactly what I mean when I write something as the perception of the listener is often influenced by their own ideas and theories which have nothing to do with my thinking or beliefs.
Wouldn’t Adam and Burndog be two? What your saying is relevant…especially when we discuss the written word. I believe that it was Plato who said that the written word is a traitor to memory…for it sits orphaned long after an event…with no parent to support it. I’m certain that I give your words the wrong voice when I read them…and I’m often surprised with how you interpret my tone or intention. I agree with what you said here.
Talking about it with friends is not the same as telling other NETs who will abuse the information and use it in nefarious ways. A little common sense is indeedneeded on the listeners part. I also suspect that some respondants take minute, extreme positions or examples just to find something to oppose in my words because they really do not want to hear the truth or what someone has to say.
I love how you swing from saying that things are subjective and we must be careful of pronouncing absolute truths and all that good shit…and then you claim that your words are the truth!
I’m feeling nice. Not overly chatty…kind of busy…and…nice.
Not much else to say really…we had five 6th Grade classes today, and each one was slightly better than the one before it. Shit’s good. I’m becoming increasingly aware of how little time is left in Korea…and the pressing uncertainty that comes from deciding to go home…BUT…at the same time…there’s a certain amount of joy that comes from knowing that I’ll be going home at the start of the football season. There’s a LOT of footy to be seen…a lot of grounds to visit…games to watch…pies to eat (yes…i ate all the pies)…and general good times to be had.
There’s also a lot of touristy shit to get into on the side…which will be the nicest thing about going home with The Bird. The chance to see your hometown through fresh eyes is a lovely thing…and it’s something I really want to make the most of.
Four years has gone so quickly…and it just feels like the end of an amazing dream…I’m not looking forward to waking up and facing life in Australia…but at least I’ll be waking up next to my best friend. You can’t normally drag the best part of the dream out of it to wander reality with you…so I do feel blessed.
that dickheads with an agenda will use this guy’s stupid rant against ALL Koreans…but I urge people to maintain some perspective.
The video…is of a Korean man reading a message to Japan…in Japanese…talking about how he hopes that an earthquake will kill all Japanese people…and other stupid things. Here’s the video (it is in Japanese…so I will post a translation below) -
…..okay that really pissed me off. and for those who don’t understand his words, here’s the translation↓
Hi Japanese, good evening Are you guys already exposed to radiation? Eh that’s scary, isn’t it Will massive earthquake happen in Tokyo and you all die soon? (laughing) Ah I wish so.
Every time I imagine killing somebody, that person was always Japanese. I think I would never kill anybody for real, cuz this nation destroys themselves. Ah how awesome!
Okay now I’m gonna enjoy watching reconstruction of Japan. Hope you all die in a second:)
I think that any person who has spent a lot of time in Korea, or with Korean people…would recognise that this young man is clearly not any sort of spokesperson for Korea, or the majority of Koreans.
It’s an impossible wish in these times of 24 hour news cycles, and outrage, and constant scandal…but this is one of those times where you wish that people would simply shake their heads, call the fella the four or five bad names that he deserves, and then stroll on. It won’t happen. There will be netizen outrage on both sides of the East Sea…and it’s all pointless. What’s the point in hating this guy? I am annoyed because his opinion will cloud people’s opinion of Korea and Koreans…but that’s just how I feel…and I wouldn’t want to over state that.
How are you? Happy? Full of chuckles and multi-coloured bum fluff? That’s nice.
I’m in a rip-roaring good mood. Yep.
In spite of what some poo brained doubters said…my approach to the 6th Grade problem has resulted in a great first up response today. The children clearly attempted to make an effort from start to finish…with many hands raised and answers given…and they were…once they relaxed…quite happy to be relieved of peer pressure and just give into the whole lesson.
I expected the result, so had a gift ready for their teacher (just some chocolates) to say thank-you for her assistance.
See…I think that the student’s development is the entire schools responsibility…so if a class isn’t behaving well…then it’s up to all of their teachers to get together and work out why they aren’t behaving as they should. Discussing the issue in a productive manner with my co-teachers and the homeroom teacher is much better than just ignoring the behaviour or praying that it might get better. The approach worked…for now. The other side of the coin…and what will lead to a more sustained period of decent behaviour is that NewYouYou and I must plan differently for this class than the other classes. They don’t enjoy talking alone…today we did a lot of group activities…and more writing. They responded to that more than the other classes did…so we now know that they would rather do activities in groups than on their own…and they are happy to write…but don’t want to talk as much. So…if we make a lot of decent group activities where they can talk a little…and write a lot…well…things should be gravy.
Aside from all of that guff…I had a lovely weekend. I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom on Friday night…just making sure that everything is in order before I resume packing and sorting shit again this weekend. I’ve got a lot to do…but thankfully I’ve an adequate amount of time to do it in. On Saturday I had a lovely White Day date with The Bird. Some of you may remember that I promised her that I wouldn’t write about her on here…so…I’m not going to write much more than to say that it was a lovely time…I constructed a candy heart…purchased ice cream cake…made a card…cooked dinner. All things that make White Day avoid being Shite Day.
I headed off to Incheon on Sunday to watch a bit of K-League action. They’ve gone and built a new stadium…so it was lovely to be able to head along to the opening game and see the home team lose 2-0. Wonderful stuff.
Which brings us to today. Not much to report. I’m very busy. I’m building a K-Pop Slam type game…I’m just going to alter the songs and videos and lyrics from the first one (K-Pop Slam aka Fantastic Elastic) to make a new one. It should be rad barrels of fun and awesome. I hope. I’ve been working on it since last week…it’s not easy to find just the right bit of English in the song…and to find songs that my students are going to know…but…I think that K-Pop Slam 3: A Journey Through Time…should be just the game to get my 5th and 6th Grade students up and out of their seats.
“My new model of slacktivism requires only a small amount of time…and a large amount of whisky. Join me sisters and brothers…and we shall passively sit and not care as things endlessly turn to shit! The best thing about this new model is that it saves people from our horribly boring tweets, with well intended, but ultimately useless hashtags. #savethewhalechildrensoldiersofsubpopafricaseattle”—
I’ve seen the light. I repent! I fall upon the glory of Dave and request that my sins be cleansed and Jebus flow through my soul! Please help me! You see…here I was…moderating shit and requesting that punters be nice…and then…I finally got a shot of wisdom from above. How high above? Well…here are the comments in full -
"what a crybaby! you can dish it out but you can’t take it. i do not think i have seen such an immature person as you… Yep, you are the most immature person yet and he cries like a spoiled child when his hand is slapped.
typical of all those who find courage behind a keyboard. you and your weblog are not above the rules, get used to that thought. people like you are part of the problem as they attack those who cannot defend themselves then think there is nothing wrong with their bad behavior.
it doesn’t matter where your blog is located, you are still in Korea and subject to their strict libel and slander laws and trashing Koreans is not look lightly upon.
oh wait…you will delete this so you do not have to think about the reality of your actions. have you told your old you-you that you were ridiculing her on the internet? i bet not. it takes courage to do that and you have none. it is easier and safer to do it when her back is turned.”
How did I live before I read this comment? How? It’s true Burnfans…I am a crybaby. As I sit and type this…I’m wearing a diaper (nappy in Australia)…pacifier (dummy in Australia) in my mouth…tears (tears in Australia) streaming down my chubby cheeks. I’m a crybaby. I’m a little baby…who cries to his mommy (mummy in Australia). I am an immature baby…and I cry like a child who has their hand slapped. Clearly. True. All true.
It’s all true that I am part of the problem. I’m not sure what the problem is…but I do know that I’m a part of it. I’ve always been a part of it…shit…I probably invented it! Yep. I’m part of the problem…attacking the defenseless…like the poor Chosun Ilbo…where I attacked them by writing an honest piece questioning the journalistic standards of an article that was written in their newspaper! I wrote a blog piece…that could also have doubled as a letter to the editor…criticising their approach to a subject. I imagine that they are unable to hide their grief after such an unprecedent attack on their newspaper.
I realise now that there is something wrong with my bad behaviour.
Yes…Korea’s strict libel laws. I have heard about these before. I recall a blogger in Korea giving me a lesson on libel and slander. Yes. Apparently the cost of hiring legal assistance in Korea is quite high…and the value of the outcome would depend entirely on how many people whitnesed the slander that occurred. Now…I average around ten hits per day…so if I had to pay ten bucks per set of eyes that read my blog on a given day…I might be up for…$100!!!! Shit! It’s difficult to imagine how I could live with such a crippling action taken against me! The only solace that I can find is in the knowledge that YouYou is not a real person…and the events described in the blog are entirely fictional! It’s the only benefit that I have from the shit that I do. I mean…there’s no such person as Burndog…there’s no such person as YouYou…and it’s difficult for one fictional character to sue another…but that’s not going to remove the burden of my sin from my own shoulders. See…I created these characters…and I sent them in to fight.
It’s like the Bible! Only fiction.
I didn’t delete your comment David (another fictional entity I’m sure)…in fact I read it…and I have taken it into my heart.